Reuter: Seattle, WA
Kingdome
WBCF Armageddon


VM: Welcome to Seattle for the long awaited WBCF Armageddon. I'm Vince McLad, along with Yogesh Ross, Handsome Darren Hendrix and Tony Chanvonie.

TC: No Free Fa All tonight, that cheap bastard Busen Burner can't give nuthin for free.

VM: You weren't supposed to say that.

TC: Um...I gotta go.


Match One
Eddie Perguerro vs. Buck Naked

"Everybody Hurts....". This is the WBCF debut of Buck Naked. We weren't sure if we could show him on regular television, so we decide to have him appear on PPV first. "Hello Latedies, you vanted to dance" Buck Enters the ring wearing nothing but a J-cloth. The ref has to send him back to get his shorts. Dear Lord! Eddie is gonna have his hands fulled. EP has had a string of bad luck as of late. Eddie refuses to touch BN who is all greased up. What the hell is that move?! Looks like BN is humping EP's leg. Eddie is disgusted, and rightfully so. Eddie checks under the ring and pulls out a towel. He tries to get a hold of Buck, but he keeps ducking in and out and around the ring posts. (mip 10 mins) BN gives EP a vicious shot to the ribs (for his pleasure). The man of a thousand positions is taking charge of this match. Parents, if you have any little children in the room, it would be advised to send them to their rooms. Don't turn off the set, we need the buy-ratings. EP can't get any hold on BN, he's just too lubricated. Eddie begins to complain to the ref, who just shrugs. BN sneaks up behind and ..Holy Mackeral! The Kama Sutra! Eddie has been violated! He has no choice but to tap out.

Winner: Buck Naked

YR: The question some people want to know is if Dark Angel is capable of wrestling tonight, after what we saw last week. WBCF officials obviously want to acheive an outstanding review of this PPV so earlier today, a guidance counsellor from South Park was flown in to talk to Dark Angel. Here's some footage.

Dark Angel is in a room with the counsellor, Darren Bischoff and Chark Tunney This meeting has been going on all morning.

GC: Ok let's try this again, okay. You are not D.A. Cream. You are not Dark Angel nWo. You're just Dark Angel. Okay.

DA: okey dokey.

GC: So when I say, hello Dark Angel, you say hello. Okay?

DA: check.

GC: Hello Dark Angel.

DA: (stares into empty space with no response)

GC: Let's try this again, okay. When I say hello Dark Angel, you say hello. Okay?

DA: Gotcha

GC: Hello Dark Angel.

DA: (stares into empty space with no response)

clock on the wall shows time elasping.

GC: Ahh! Ok, ok. For the last time you are Dark Angel. When I stomp on your foot like this (stomp, stomp) and say hello Dark Angel, you say hello. Okay?

DA: sure thing.

GC: (stomping on DA's foot) Hello Dark Angel.

DA: (no response)

GC: (stomp, stomp, stomp) Hello Dark Angel.

DA: (no response)

GC: Ahhh! I said Hello Dark (stomp) Angel (stomp)

DA then looks over to Darren Bischoff and whispers

DA: I think he's talking to you.

GC: Godamnit!

end of clip

YR: As you can see, not much progress was made.



Match Two

Smokin' Bunns vs Crotches & Moon

What can I say? A craptacular match-up. C&M just can't adjust to the modern era of WBCF wrestling. The're not old by any means, just old-fashioned. The Bunns have had a turn around of late, annilating the competition. Bombay Blast on Moon. It was over before it was begun.

Winner: Smokin' Bunns (to face tag champs on MNFs)

YR: Chark Chat is finally the WBCF Universal Champion. Ever since the main event was announced, he's been in the gym and refusing any media contact, but we manged to get this clip.

clip shows CC working out and stuff.

VM: Great stuff YR.


Match Three:
2/3 Triple X vs. Soul Assassins.

Now this is what I'm talking about. From now on, we have more tag matches like this. The ref loses control of this one early on. An additional ref runs down to help on the outside. The fans enter into an uproar when Widow-Maker and BlackHeart finally get it on. (mip). No one has yet to gain a clear advantage. Quick tags and moves. Poetry in motion. All 4 men are outside the ring now and duking it out. LTC and SS re-enter the ring. WM and BH grab chairs and you know what that means. The ref has no clue as to who are the legal men. He looks at the outside ref for assisstance. He has no clue either. In that moment of distraction. WM lays the smack down on Super Sok's head. But BH does the same to Loose Canon. Both ref's are in the ring now. 1..2...3. Hold on here. Widow-Maker pinned Super Sok, and Black Heart pinned Tanen at the same time. Who won the match. Everyone is standing around in confusement. The officials are talking it over and...the new tag team chmpions of the world! Widow-Maker and Black Heart. WM starts to flip off the officials and tosses the tag belt to Black Heart's feet. Then he clocks him. He begins to plummel away. Chark Tunney rushes to ringside and declares the match a draw. A re-match to take place on Fights. Therefore the Soul Assassins are still tag champs. Dear Lord! Death in the Family! Banned in 7 States, 2 Provinces, and 1 Terrritory. Officials are forced to intervene to separate the combatants. A stretcher carries BH away.

YR: What a barn burner that was. Now, some of you may be asking, where is IMC. Well, Iron Mike Chark has taken a leave of abscence to spend some time with his family. He'll be back soon to continue his managerial duties with the Alliance. (real reason, I forgot to include him in any Alliance activities for a while, and I just realised this. Sorry.)

Match Four
Rod Van Bam vs. Donk Jr. (Intergalactic Title)

A great battle of the Youngin's. RVB relying on his raw power, and Donk Jr. on his speed and technique. (mip 20 mins) Wow, what a long match-up. Wait a minute, what's Chark Tunney doing out here. RVB stunns Donk Jr. Donkshooter! Rod is using Donk's very own move. But it looks like Donk is reversing it. What? Tunney is signalling for the bell. The winner of the match and new intergalatic champion. Rod Van Bam. Donk Jr. is trying to explain to the ref that he never gave up. Tunney escorts Rod back to the locker room area.


HDH: I'm here in the locker room area with Lord Peccavi. LP what do you think your chances are of walking away tonight with the Universal Title?

LP: Well the odds are much better now that Dark Angel has gone nuts. Hee-Hee! (2 thumbs up).

HDH: Don't you think it was unfortunate what happend to your former tag partner?

LP: Everything is bad if you remember it.

HDH: Back to you Vince.


Match Four.
4H vs. Bad Guy

"This is the Bad Guy show. It's not the Guy Bad show..." Bad Guy is really pumped up for this one. 4H enters the ring. He's trying to get to the BG, but the ref intervenes. Vince McLad enters the ring.

VM: "Ladies and Gentlemen...special guest bell ringer.....The Phoenix!

Crowd bursts into an uproar. "Ah, ah, ah Phoenix. I just the Phoenix, I don't give Free Sex..." Phoenix enters on a bungee cord. Bad Guy is irrate, but the Phoenix has vowed to be impartial during this match. Bad Guy and 4H are putting on one helluva show for this crowd in Seatle. (mip) 4H has gained the upper hand and the Bad Guy is forced to retreat to the outside. 4H follows. Bad Guy reaches under the mat and pulls out a chair. 4H doesn't see it. BG is about to hit 4H when Phoenix grabs the chair from him. BG and PHX get into a shouting match. 4H grabs the chair and clips BG's knee. He then rolls into the ring to avoid the countout as PHX holds onto BG's leg. Winner, 4H. Bad Guy is really pissed now, but he knows he's outnumbered. While PHX and 4H are celebrating, he hits 4H over the head with the same chair. BG then tries to make a quick getaway, but is stopped in his tracks by Big Jeremy. Oh oh. BG turns around, only to be blocked off by Phoenix and 4H. The fans are chanting for carnage. The three men are about to pounce. Wait a minute. It's nWo Dark Angel. DA pulls BG to saftey and comforts him with PD the Ass Pirate (aka AP). BG is about to be all thankful and stuff, until he notices who helped him.

BG: Damnit! I don't want your help! I don't even like you.

DA leaves saddened. Chark Tunney comes rushing to ringside, while Bad Guy heads off to the back with a disgruntled glance towards him.

CT: Cut the music. I said cut it. You don't work here, therefore, you are trespassing.

PHX: Hold on a minute. Look at what I got in my hand. It's a contract. A contract signed by the president. Your Boss. I do work here you punk. Woo! (drunken walk ensues)

The Smokin' Bunns walk by Tunney and head to the ring. All hugs for Phoenix.

PHX: These men here were supposed to face the tag champs on fights. But once again, you abuse your power. Quadruple H should be fighting for the Intergalactic title, but you abuse your power. I should have been wrestling for the past 4 months. Abuse of Power!

CT: Hey, I do wha...(cut off)

PHX: ABUSE of Power! ABUSE of power! (drunken walk)

CT: Okay, you wanted a tag match for your friends. Then you got it. But it won't be against the champs. It'll be against you and 4H, on Fights.

PHX: ABUSE of power!

VM: Chark Tunney ain't no fool. He can be pretty smart sometimes. Let's take you to Darren Hendrix in the back.

HDH: Sid Mercy was the longest Universal title holder in recent memory. Let's get a word with him. Sid! Sid. May I have a moment of your time.

Boop! Sid clobbers HDH over the head.

YR: Looks like Sid means business tonight.

VM: The cell is lowered, let the Armageddon begin!

Main Event
Hell w/Bell
Lord Peccavi vs. Dark Angel vs. Sid Mercy vs. Chark Chat

LP and DA start to duke it out even before the match begins. Now everyone is at it, but no one has entered the cell as yet. DA and CC enter the cage, but LP climbs it trying to escape SM. SM atomic drops LP, and LP falls through the top of the cell. But he manages to hang on to the edge of the hole. SM starts to stomp on his fingers. Wait a minute, it's Ezal. He's eating a bannana. He tosses the peel on top of the cage. This distracts SM and allows LP to escape and then enter the cage. Finally all combatants are in the cell. (mip15mins). Wow, what a match we have here. The fans are undecided concerning all but one wrestler, LP. Hey, Chark Tunney is at ringside now. Looks like he wants to get a better view. At this moment, everything from under the ring has been pulled out. It's pure chaos. George Bell has no control over this fight. Dear Lord! Sid just threw DA through the door of the cell. I dunno why the WBCF insisted on using pigeon coup wire instead of chain linked. LP executes a double bulldog. That's a surprise, the first of his career. DA is outside the ring posing and struting. He still thinks he's in the nWo Blue. DA is climbing the cell. Is he crazy? He's now posing on top the cell. Sid just clobbered CC and LP with a ladder. Unfortunatly, he stumbled falling on top of Bell. The fans are chanting for DA to dive through the hole onto LP and CC.

DA: (two hands in the air) NnnnnO! I dunno why I listen to you nappy head peop...

At that moment, DA slips on the bannana peel left behind by Ezal. He plummets to the canvas and hits nothing but mat. I think DA injured his pancreas. (mip 40 mins) Looks like LP's knee is dislocated. He's in tremendous pain. George Bell finally regains his senses before slipping on his own jheri juice and hitting his head on a steel chair. Wait a miunte. It's Damian! Damian crashes the cell and whacks SM with an old TV set (it's amazing what they keep under the ring). He then grabs DA and Eternal Damnation's him in the center of the ring. CC try's to escape, but is tossed like a dart into the wall of the cell. DAM then drags LP over and lays him on top of DA, then he leaves the ring. But there is no one there to make the count. LP hobbles up frustrated and is greeted by a lariat by SM. (mip 59 mins) We return to find LP drapped up on the wall of the cell by his pants. Compliments of Sid Mercy before he gave chase to Damian. He's no longer a factor in this one. (mip 112 mins) What a long ass match. LP is crying now cuz he can't get loose. We pan back and forth to the back seeing SM detroying everything and everyone that gets in his way. DA and CC keeping duking it out, both men barely able to stand. CC flings DA towards the ropes. Chark's Bottom! Chark's Bottom! What intestinal fortitude. CC goes for the cover, but there's no ref. Wait a minute. Chark Tunney enters the ring. 1..2...
DA kicks out. What a little trooper. Looks like CT is the new ref. DA slams CC into the corner, on the rebound he catches CC's head. Hell's Fury. The fans erupt. DA goes for the cover. But Tunney isn't counting. What's going on here. He has his back turned and pretends that he sees nothing. DA gets up and shoves Tunney telling him to focus on the match. DA spins and delivers Angel's elbow. The cover and ... Tunney ignores it. DA gets into a shouting match with Tunney. CC recovers and whacks DA with a chair. He then picks up DA and executes the Iron Mike Crunch. 1...2...3! Chark Chat remains the Universal Champion. What an abuse of power. CT raises CC's hand and signals for the cell to be raised.

LP: Wait guys! Wait! I'm hooked on something over here!

Chark Chat stands victorious over a fallen Dark Angel. Cameras in the back show the rest of the triple x confused, they didn't no of CC's affilation with Chark Tunney. Tunney quickly leaves the ring and is heading up the aisle when he is cut off by Bad Guy.

BG: What the hell is going on here! You help Rod Van Bam. You help Chark Chat. What about me, what about the Bad Guy. You screwed with me for the last time Tunney.

BG is holding CT by the collar and roughing him up. Officials come down to help.


VM: What a PPV!

(eob)

PPV buy rating.... -2.
We had to pay people to watch.